-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!