For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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You allergic to semen?

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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