- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book