girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!