sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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-Do you like me? -No

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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jack sanders

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!