Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! *shows me boobs* Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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