- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

At a concert guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

GET IN THE VAN!!!

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

Nice legs what time do they open

-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night