-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Jdkfk

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Get in the van.

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Male: Get in the van.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!