man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Male: Get in the van.

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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I'll eat your poop

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He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!