are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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adam burdass

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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your almost as hot as my wife

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I have a gun.

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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you look like my mother

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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free candy....

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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