-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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jack sanders

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!