Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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"Next!"

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!