Golf.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!