Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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Golf.

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!