You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

This doesn't have to be a rape.

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!