Lesbihonest

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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sound of zipper

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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Golf.

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!