If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

You look exactly like my sister.

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

I have a gun.

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

fancy going halves on a bastard?

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!