Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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