My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!