He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Golf.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!