guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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You look exactly like my sister.

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!