you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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I have a gun.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Golf.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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my dick is 2 inches

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!