What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Golf.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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I have a gun.

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!