- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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why are you you touching me ????

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!