You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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-Get in the Van

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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imgonna r@pe you

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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