Do you live around here often?

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!