- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

Jdkfk

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book