Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Penis. I got it

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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greetings clarisse...

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- You look really nice - I know

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!