Dont let this rape turn into a murder

Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

Hey can I have your number? No.

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

greetings clarisse...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!