Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

thumb_up thumb_down -129

Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

thumb_up thumb_down +156

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

thumb_up thumb_down +116

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +293

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

thumb_up thumb_down +42

jack sanders

thumb_up thumb_down -76

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

I'd hit that.... with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!