- Anti-Pickup Line

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

Whatever I'll just date myself.

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it unzips his pants and pulls out his nub girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

So, you're a girl, huh?

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

Not a pickup line, but sincerity: Look for somebody you like, it does not matter what in particular you love about this person, so lets put me as the guy in two examples. Me: Lovely scarf you got there. Woman: Here take it. Me: Wow. Its no typical me to be into women's clothing in fact I do not give a damn about clothing at all, so I ask my female friends to buy clothes for me to pick up what they think I look my best in, I mean what is wrong by looking good in the eyes of your girls eh? but I must really have loved that scarf, because it was no pick up failure, because in this example I sincerely loved that scarf... Now this one. Me: I love that scarf you got there. Woman: Sigh, take it and leave me alone. Me: Here, have it back, I do not like the scarf, I like how beautiful you make the scarf look, are you willing to give me a chance, to get to know the girl that can make this scarf so beautiful? You are female and resist me? That is okay, you do however give me the motivation to become a better person, so that you might give me another chance, sometime if we meet again, and if we do not, thank you for giving me so much already. Honesty Pros: No lies Cons: I am experienced with being myself P Lies: Pros: Hey a free scarf I pretend to like yay? Cons: If you have what it takes, why do you then have to lie? Then you are not only lying to her, but also to yourself. And if your lie works, how many lies will you have to keep creating, until the fear of failure rather than the peace and love, breaks your heart and hers? Moral: Sure you know now you lie about the scarf, about her shirt, about her wig, and you lose a lot... But if you had to lie about it, admit it or live in self denial: You lost nothing sir! You never had it in the first place

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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