Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

Put the lotion on the skin!

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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