Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

you actually look alright with the lights on.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

Drink this!

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!