hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Get in the van.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!