Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Have you met Ted?

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!