Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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This is what Nero calls for his "destroyer" not sure if I should consider that flattering, he thinks so anyways, he just wants to say, that why the fuck are people suddenly scared of looooooooooooooooooooooong messages on the interbewbs. "No leave it be, interbewsbs sounds prefect" Nero The Hero "FINAL FRESH" What Nero And Vagina shouts? :)) Something is off here but he has passed out again :)) "God woman, you suck at pop cultural quotes" Nero, the fucklord (omg, he is crazy, gotta love this guy) "thanks" Nero the grateful. "I Ask you if you know who I am by saying "ITS ME MARIO and you still do not know what name is? THe red plumber Nintendo HIS NAME IS MARIO!?" Nero The (fucking annoyed at me) :)) Sorry guys just having fun. "THOU SHALL NEVER APOLOGIzE FOR THE WORD OF NERO" -Nero insists, I mean the LORD OF DARKNESS INSISTS "Can we fucking stop making quotes of me now? All the girls are laughing at me, WHY AM I SO DEFEATED!" Last quote added without his consent

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!