So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

thumb_up thumb_down -154

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

thumb_up thumb_down +188

This doesn't have to be a rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +147

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +88

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +125

-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

thumb_up thumb_down +217

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

thumb_up thumb_down +126

I have a really big..... Bank Account

thumb_up thumb_down +124

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

thumb_up thumb_down +57

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

thumb_up thumb_down +123

Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -237

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

thumb_up thumb_down +10

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!