Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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Want to go out? No

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!