guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!