hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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I have a gun.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!