are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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will you marry me

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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I've got candy.

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Soon

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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