-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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I'll punch ya!

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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Want to go out? No

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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