Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

Man at a restaurant (that is out of everything but bar stools and alcoholic drinks): Man: Die monster! You don't belong in this world! Woman: Uh? Oh! Nice tribute to the cheesy Castlevania lines! Man:Tribute!?! You steal men's souls and make them your slaves! Woman: Uh... well with most of you men lacking a spine nowadays... I cant truly disagree with you... Man: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you! Woman: Savior? Who do you think I am? But now I am annoyed *throws glass that breaks* have at you! *slaps man* Man: HYDRO STORM! Throws a flask of water upwards as it breaks on the floor splashing the woman... Woman: NOW I AM ALL WET! YOU MORON! Dont you know me? Man: Man: M-Maria? Uh... What happened? Shaft: Damn you broke free from your spell! But it is too late! Muahahaha! Castlevania has already become a bar! Richter: Well... that's fine to me, as long as Dracula does not STEAL MEN`S SOULS! Shaft: Relax, he is into business now... Richter: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a businessman such as him! Shaft: Seriously! I invite you both at its VIP lounge and free beer to make up for the past mistakes... Richter: Excellent! But now feel my unbridled wrath!!!!! *punches Shaft* Shaft: Ouch! So... are we even now? Richter: Considering the free beer... okay... As they arrived Castle Barlevania they both got drunk and played "vampire killer" at the stage all night... Moral: Not much a Anti-Pick up line you say? Not only did Richter make a fool out of himself, but he also got her wet ;)

Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

your boobs are bigger than my nose

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

will you marry me

violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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