If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

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Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!