roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Big Black Guy: Yo, whats your name there sexy? My name is Tyrone Bigs Dicks, but my NBA teammates call me Mr.BigDingDong, I play for the HUGE Chicago BIGC0cks if I seem familiar to you ;),... Woman: Wow, awesome ;) and why do they call you that? Big Black Guy:Sigh... I was afraid you would ask... I actually got no idea... But I do not think there are any Big HUGE hard facts... Woman: :/ Big Black Guy: Where you going? Hey! Moral: Lol cannot stop laughing myself! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE PRESENT TO YOU THE HUGE CHICAGO BIGC0CKS!

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Get in the van.

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!