Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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Have you met Ted?

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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will you marry me

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!