Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +63

He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

thumb_up thumb_down -67

What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Im gonna rape you..

thumb_up thumb_down +17

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why are you you touching me ????

thumb_up thumb_down +21

M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

thumb_up thumb_down -48

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!