- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book