- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

Nice legs what time do they open

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

is your name angel cuz that's all i see? is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book