- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! Woman slams man with baseball bat Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book