- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 lies

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

Man: Pokes Woman Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: Pokes Man Well it's too bad you're not.

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book