- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! walks away disgusted Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book