- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book