- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! Woman slams man with baseball bat Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

Boy : Gurle: hi

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book