Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

thumb_up thumb_down -31

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

you look like my mother

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!