man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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Lol, again I am on a adrenaline... well let me be subtle... GANGBANGING WITH ANAL, PUSSY, TWO GIRLS FIGHTING OVER ONE COCK (Ladies there is enough down there to share)... ...Anyway, it reminds me of when I was 21, and I was like "You know what? Threesomes and that kinda stuff is nice and all, but I am a grown up now and... ...TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs Today I am 32, Married, (Hey my wife is into stuff, so its not cheating if she is the one enjoying while I videotape sometimes okay? (Never on cam, you crazy? You cant sell that shit! Okay I am kidding, the collection is personal) Ps: Seriously girls, one thing is that you smear yourself with my cumshots okay? But Hugging me afterwards? DATS SICK! (Name is Nero, I am not black, I am Hispanic, Latino Sexy... Well, actually when I take a look in the mirror I go, "meh well some guys got the looks"... ...I wont lie though, either my looks dont matter shite, or girls really like it...

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!