Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

I'll punch ya!

MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

will you marry me

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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