I think I shit myself

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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