- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

I love you more than my jar of fingers.

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

nice kid... want another?

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

GET IN THE VAN!!!

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book