Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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I have a gun.

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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