- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! walks away disgusted Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book